All the dog sees are your canine incisors coming at his face. We all have brown hair, okay. They will show you. Side note. Like, it just goes, like that. So we all do it. I guess I fell into her, now we got four kids. Six other coyotes. Like, we… A lot of times, men pride themselves on being very observant, right? I want a bra. Maybe one day. Okay, so… So, we look at everything. Fuck everybody else. But not much. Times that center console by a million… in her apartment. Welcome to womanhood. We put it in different scenarios. And the baby made a big mistake. Your mother is there. Yes, he welcomes you to the new union. Right, like all of you. What the fuck is that? If you have any doubt the guy likes you, give him something to do. Maybe my generation changes it.
That joke is a risk because I realize not every one here knows… what a peacock sounds like. I remember when Skechers were invented. And we put it… into our baggage, and we throw that baggage over our shoulder and what do we do, girls? Chapter One. We all have brown hair, okay. Side note. So we all do it. And he told me to go away. They give us texture, personality. Paternal, parental. We label each issue, each past grievance, in its own Mason jar. They were ugly then. Your mother is there. One cool baby. Tiny pulses, ladies. No means no. Whatever you have as a woman, whatever your body looks like, girls. Women are not used to dealing… with rejection… when it comes to sex. We have been taught this message since we were little girls. How about you?
Sir, bat-like. And this is a nut sack! Off the lies a toadhole… You must go to it. We are the ones on a time crunch, on a schedule, okay? You sweep all four legs, Daniel-san, just… And you throw him on his back! But for, like, the 12 of you that knew, it was so worth it for me. Start dancing. So what is athleisure wear? Wait your turn, okay. Get out! The mom was into it! So you take out a talon. We go through it. I was in the airport the other day. Fuck you, okay? I say this next part as a woman that champions other women, as a woman who chose to be single for a very long time. They do. Like, we… A lot of times, men pride themselves on being very observant, right? We then walk it into the new relationship. Shave it. I wash with ham and cat hair. I clocked you! Why is that? Just take a little longer. I want a child. Thank you so much… for being here. This is how I give a hand job. And I want to talk about how much I hate Stacy. We talk at you.
Bright, successful, attractive people who just so happen to be hilarious. Instead, we hold onto it. You saw me first? And then we get to use the pain of that past rejection, ladies, as an excuse for why we are the weird brand of fucked-up that we are, now! For, like, deeply disturbing psychological reasons. No means no. Fuck them. Fuck everybody else. Get in there! We met on a dating app, which is… less of a product of my lack of creativity and more a result of my generation. If so, is he a European male or just someone from Arizona? Men are very physical. And the baby made a big mistake. I was in the airport the other day. Love you. And I have stretch marks, from growing from an infant!
Well, Skylar will make a good mom. It was just such a hard day. Lemme make sure. Get out! All right, well… I was out with my buddies. Get over it. Scare them off. We shout it from the mountaintops. They will show you. And every human remembers the first time they were rejected. Before you get all offended at that, look at all of our eyebrows. While chauvinists might believe only unattractive or overweight women can be funny, I will dispel this bigoted belief by providing this list of attractive, truly funny female comedians. Most of the things, a guy is not going to notice. I got to take a shit. Princesses get saved. Elder millennial! I want you to trust me, okay? There is no fourth. While the ladies below are in no particular order, they all have three things in common: We met on a dating app, which is… less of a product of my lack of creativity and more a result of my generation.
I got fired, and… I cried in front of everyone and… I ate that French fry from my car. Thank you so much for coming out tonight to have a good time. Your mother is there. I never thought about it. An easier meal. Right, the new girl that gets, like, Channing Tatum. Who is she? I was set up. I fuck. And then we get to use the pain of that past rejection, ladies, as an excuse for why we are the weird brand of fucked-up that we are, now! How did you meet? There is no fourth. Every year, the shit just piles up. You just start crying. Oh, you had your period? So magical. Which means I was born in , which means I am… right at the cutoff. Just kidding. For, like, deeply disturbing psychological reasons. We want to tell you… everything. In seventh grade, I showed an aptitude for the clarinet. When a man feels he can be of help, physically, then he feels needed, and that makes him feel good and attractive.
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We shout it from the mountaintops. I wish someone had told this to me when I was in my 20s. You want to talk about it? She has no idea. And every human remembers the first time they were rejected. No always means no. All right, well… I was out with my buddies. I want a bra. He also knows… that he loves you. Be specific. And I have stretch marks, from growing from an infant! He just lets the girl hunt for him. Okay, so… We got the zoologist questions out of the way. Next time, notice the Cirque du Soleil stunt your dog is willing to pull… to get away from your love. Most of the things, a guy is not going to notice. We take each one and we label it. I hit my head. And she is waiting to come out. It was just such a hard day. And it spirals.
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